Brain farts and pep talks

So today yesterday was another one of those days where I just felt melancholic, lethargic and my thoughts were a trainwreck of smoke and mirrors misfiring and flailing while trying to escape a tar pit of brain farts on the Rick Perry scale. Thankfully I’m good at what I do, I’m fairly organized and plan ahead so my content knowledge and ability to chase a tangent got me by and I think my students actually learned quite a bit. But days like these really shake my confidence and make me question my abilities as a teacher. As if the fleeting thoughts weren’t enough, the pressured speech tops it all off and I feel like I’m back in time trying to convince my dad that the window did in fact break itself when it’s obvious to both of us that I should just shut-up and stop digging but I can’t. I stumble and slur over my words as I try to talk over my brain farts. I am tired of being moody, irritiable, agitated, restless, hopeless, worried and pretty much paralyzed for no good reason.

I don’t know what else I’m suppossed to tell my psychiatrist to tame this beast. We’ve tried different combinations of meds, the last of which I got pissed off about and stopped taking because of the horrendous heart burn I would get after taking it every few days or so.

It just all seems so impossible and pointless and I need to psyche myself up somehow. Today isn’t looking too good either. At least I got my post from yesterday done finally.

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~ by vann1912 on 16 November, 2011.

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