It’s been a minute
So I got a hair to write and almost opened a word document and then thought I would see if I could log back into this account after 8 years. Crazy how much happens in that much time yet still stays the same. It was also crazy to see that people visited some of my posts years afterwards but all during the same two years which makes me wonder what psych reading assignment they were trying to find from some professor who sucks at technology.
Anyways, I’m in such a much better place than the last time I posted here. I went through a pretty serious two-plus year relationship that ended suddenly and has taken me about five years to really kind of process and move past to a point where I am entertaining the idea of exploring the possibility of a relationship again. It’s just tough with a protection system that looks out for red flags and is frankly too scared to open up to someone and change my status quo. But at the same time I’m really starting to understand how quickly time marches forward as I watch my son cruise into middle school this fall when it seems like he was just in a booster seat yesterday.
If anyone stumbles across this and has any inspiring advice for how to open up again I am realizing that it won’t really be all that long until my son has grown up and I am afraid of losing that sense of purpose and love that I still get to experience when it’s my time with him, but I know as he gets older our time together will be less and less as he begins his own life as a man. Ugh, I don’t want my little man to grow up but I’m so proud of how truly amazing he is, and since I quit drinking heavily every day six months ago I have really begun to cherish all the silly little moments with him I know may be the last. Like when he hovers in my doorway at 3 am and scares the shit out of me because he can’t sleep by himself and I think to myself “we get one last slumber party.”
tempering the storm 